In the service, I was in Special Ops but I can't get into that
discussion. I could read, write and speak French and prior to being Vietnam, it was French Indo China. Enough
said about that.
I was discharged in San Francisco on July 9, 1965, but I had to wait
for my best friend, Marcel Aubin AKA Mack, who was also in the Navy. We went in together but obviously we
weren't stationed together and he was discharged in San Diego.
He had a car and we decided we were going to drive home together. I
had an uncle, one of my father's younger brothers who was living out there with his wife. My uncle was
working for my future father-in-law, a chef. What the guy could do with food is unbelievable. He was
artistic, creative and he used to call himself a cook. Louie was a chef and he fit the
part.
Mac and I went to visit my uncle in Palm Springs and I met my future
mother-in-law there. She had her daughter's picture on the mantle. She said her daughter was in Rhode Island
visiting her grandparents. Her mother told me, "Now don't expect a little girl here. She is a big
one."
Mac and I returned east and Barbara and I hooked up. We dated a little
bit. She then returned to California and we kept in contact.
One thing led to
another. We just hit it off. Barbara and I shared a lot of the same values. She was a looker and a keeper.
Everybody in my generation at that time got married. It was the thing to do. She had the hots for me more than I
had for her. Wegot married one year to the day that I was discharged from the Navy.
I was always involved in politics to some degree or another. I started
the Police Reserves in 1973 with Bill Mack and Gene Cloutier, who just died on Dec. 4, 2005 at the age
of 69. Fortunately at that time I happened to be on the right side of the political fence. The mayor of
Woonsocket happened to be my old football coach in high school. So I was one of the founders of the
Woonsocket Police Reserve.
The Police Reserve consists of sworn officers and carry weapons. We
had to go to a police academy. It was only part-time and Mac got selected to go full time. Our original idea
was (that) we would be able to give some interested young people the opportunity to try police work on a
part-time basis.
Our primary responsibilities were paroling city buildings,
schools and city parks, assist in traffic and crowd control and fire actions. If there ever was a riot in the
city they could call us in.
And all of us were employed in
other jobs. I worked for two radio stations. I was an account executive at the first one and a police and fire
reporterfor a local weekly newspaper -- police and fire news.
It came out on Sunday. On Saturday morning I'd drive to the local police stations to get their overnight reports.
Then I would come back and put it all together.
The first station I worked for was owned by the local newspaper, which
had the market pretty well locked up. The opposition was just a single radio station on the other side of
town. I went to work there as the sales manager after I was refused a promotion.
I was drinking in those days too. I don't know when I crossed that
magical line from being a drinker to a heavy drinker to an alcoholic.
I had two kids. I had a family growing up. You know, you've got to
make money. And they paid us for Police Reserve work. Five bucks an hour when you were on patrol. But
in 1973 I was promoted to sergeant and was paid six bucks an hour. It was my beer money. That's where my
police career started. I stayed with the reserves for 14 years.
I worked undercover in 1978 for
nine monthsdoing drug buys and working prostitution. We had prostitution, which will always be around and we
had a very heavy drug problem -- a lot of drugs --kids, adults, the people who lived on the high side of town, the
Jewish section, the rich Irish section of the city.I remember one guy who bought his wife
$5,000 worth of cocaine.
You're going to have a nice vacation. They were afraid that if I
participated in the raids, I could probably get offed. The department promoted me to
sergeant.
At the end of 14 years, the mayor at that time didn't believe
in the Police Reserves. And he happened to be on the wrong side of my fence and I happened to be
on the wrong side of his face. We just didn't like each other. He killed the Police
Reserves.
I went to Bryant College, which is now Bryant University. They were
offering a law enforcement degree. I went to school nights, started in 1975 and received an associate' s
degree in 1980). I used my GI benefits to get an associate' s degree.
I was drinking during all those
years and I ran for City Council twice. In 1988, the
kids were pretty well grown up. Barbara and I decided we were going to sell the house. I was going to quit my job
and we were going to move up to New Hampshire. We bought a lakeside condominium up there.
One weekend when we were up there, my wife said that she liked it. I
said if you like it honey, buy it. Give her a check for 500 bucks. Stupidity, you know, Of course I had
crossed the line into alcoholism then.
And then that's when the booze turned up. In fact I had a heart attack
in 1988, and a microcardial infarction (at age 45). We moved up there. I applied for police chief jobs. Got
nowhere naturally. Started my own business. Coupon club, going out to restaurants, marketing coupons, 10% off
, 5% off. It was the worse winter in New Hampshire's history to do this. No skiers, no snow and I lost the
12,000 bucks that we had because I had grandiose ideas.
She worked for a Wolfeboro, NH accounting firm owned by three men. One
of the wives was a social services director at Huggins Memorial Hospital. She called her, and I guess
she had talked to her about my drinking. She said I will find you a bed.
I had no beer now and I had finished the Scotch. I sent her (Barbara)
to a convenience store down the road. I kept on drinking beer and we talked. She got a phone call back. The
woman said "Get him to Portsmouth Regional Hospital. They found a bed for him." That's 75 miles away. (Barb)
said "So what do I do if he wants to drink?" "'Buy him a six pack for the road," she
answered.
We drove to Portsmouth from
Freedom, New Hampshire. I remember walking down the hall into the hospital. I had jeans on and a flannel shirt,
duck boots, big heavy jacket, baseball cap and I remember saying:
I was hospitalized there for
three weeks. I started to feel better. I wanted to get back into law enforcement so my psychiatrist said I can't
put down alcoholism because that will kill your chances. So he did me a favor and put me down as being
geographically depressed.Having left Rhode Island to go to New Hampshire in an area with all strangers. And after
three weeks, when the insurance ran out they pronounced me well.
We went back to Freedom. And in another case of there not being
any coincidences, I stretched one morning in bed and pulled a muscle in my back -- painful, very painful.
Barbara drove me to the emergency room, which is 20 miles away from Freedom in Willsboro. We hit every bump
on the way.
They (said) I gotta come in here
three days a week for physical therapy. They used to treat me with cold and heat. Well isn't it amazing that my
appointments were Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 11.
I went through a period of really hating my father, but when I got
sober, I got a different perspective on it. When I went into the service, the four years that I went away, my
father grew up. In reality it wasn't dad that grew up. It was me. Actually, he turned out to be my best
friend.
I stayed in New Hampshire for a month, I was having a problem. I
wanted to drink. I was going to meetings. I was miserable up there. All of our friends were back in Rhode
Island. I said to my wife one day that I have to get out of here if I want to get sober. I can't do it here.
First of all everybody is a stranger. They don't like us up here. They call us flatlanders.
She said this is home. We sold our house. We got rid of things. We
donated furniture. I said I've got to go back to Rhode Island and she asked where I was going to
go.
I called a fella. Herve, who was like a surrogate father to me. I
was in the Lions Club with him. I do have an extensive history with The Lions and the Jaycees. I called him.
I said I want to get sober and I can't do it up here, and I want to come back to Rhode Island. He said his
daughter's bedroom was empty and that I was welcome to come and stay with him and his wife
Ruth.
So I went back to Rhode Island,
got myself a job with a car rental agency. Then I worked for an armored car company. Herve never charged me a
dime.I got
sober and I would commute on weekends to New Hampshire and Barbara would commute on alternate weekends. And that's
how we lived from May 1989 to January of 1990. Then she got a job in Rhode Island and came down. The rest is
history.
I worked at a couple of menial jobs for five bucks an hour. Finally,
I'm 47 years old, starting with early sobriety and I said I have to get into something with long-lasting
results.
A friend of mine retired full time from the police department in
Woonsocket. He was a lieutenant. and was working as a police officer for the VA Hospital in Providence. He is
a Catholic deacon with degrees. He knew of my drinking escapades because my ex-wife used to call him when I
went on escapades.
I called him up and said Lou, I need a job. He said there was going to
me an opening in the police department. but it wasn't going to be for five or six months.
"I can get you in as a housekeeper, cleaning toilets and all that
stuff. At least it will get you in the door."
I said fine. So I took the job, worked nights, 3-11, for eight, nine
bucks an hour and the opening happened in the police department at the Veterans Administration
Hospital.
Every VA hospital has a police detachment because it's federal
property. You have to go to the Police Academy in Little Rock. They sent me to Little Rock. I joined the
police department full-time, joined the FOP, became union president for a while, and was union steward for a
while.
I did nine years there. That job was worse than being a full-time
policeman on the street. We were unarmed, no weapons. We had a nightstick, Mace, handcuffs, our hands and our
minds.
In a VA hospital setting, 70% of the employees are female, nurses, lab
techs and secretaries. They all don't come from harmonious family relationships. Some of them have
restraining orders against their boyfriends.
Some boys will be boys. Some of the nurses and some of the female
staff have been assaulted by other VA employees or people off the grounds. Cars are stolen. The VA police are
there to protect the patients, the staff.
It's ridiculous. We did the whole gamut of police work,
investigations, wrote out tickets. I used to be notorious for ticketing the pizza drivers. They come to the
hospital, the speed limit is 15 mph. They gotta deliver their pizza while its hot. You've got people walking
around, people in wheelchairs. You can't just allow these clowns to just run around at
will.
I did nine years and after 444 disturbances -- I kept records -- some
were violent. Some were not violent. We had a lot in the psych ward. Sometimes you get veterans who didn't
want to take their medication. Sometimes we had to put veterans in the quiet room. Sometimes we had to put
them in bed and tie them down. I got into more fights at the VA than I did when I was a street cop - a very
very dangerous, thankless job.
There were veterans there that I saw at AA. I had a lot of success
with drunks because at this time I was more active with AA. So I knew these guys. So they would tend to
listen to me because they wouldn't tend to listen to some of the other cops. And it takes one to know
one.
So finally I went to my last confrontation in June or July 1999. One
guy that my partner and I confronted was an ex-con, a veteran with tattoos on his neck, and we witnessed him
head butt a nurse.
I'm standing outside in front of the ER with Wally my partner and the
thought came to me - Wally and I looked at each other, we worked together for a long time -- so we knew each
other's moves. Wally always went high. I always went low when we had to confront somebody. And I got my
nightstick in my hand and I got my Mace and I'm going to pepper this guy if I have to. I'm gonna have to hurt
him before he hurts me or Wally.
And then it dawned on me, what the hell am I doing here? I'm 56 years
old. I have heart trouble. I have spinal cord compressions. I have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease,
peripheral artery disease, and arterial sclerosis. I only got a few years left in my life. And I'm not
going to spend it hobbling around because of one of these bums. This guy is out to hurt somebody.
Fortunately it didn't turn out bad. He surrendered quietly.
I have two kids whom I'm extremely proud of, a 39-year-old
daughter, who had a paralytic stroke when she was five. And she has some brain damage as a result of the
stroke, as well as physical damage. She lives in Tucson. And I'm happy to say she's a member of AA. She's a
year behind me. She saw her father drink her whole life. I saw my father drink and he saw his father
drink.
I have a 37-year-old son
who's an executive with Nokia
In high school I was so thin I couldn't
make the varsity. They would have killed me. I was never much of a jock. I played Little League baseball. In fact
when my son was growing up, I coached his Little League team. It's funny because, he must have been six or seven.
We'd go for the first practice. I said, "Go out to right field." My son looked at me and said "Where's right
field?" So I had to point him in that direction. But he's a jock. He loves sports.
He's got three boys and they're the ones who are going to benefit from
all of these toys model fire engines and police cars). That's all going to my grandson. My oldest grandson,
his name is Griffin, his mother is Irish so they have Irish names. And the little one is Garrett He's the
trouble guy, the one who doesn't give a shit about anything. And the baby's name is
Jeffrey.
Griffin is the gentleman. And Jeffrey, he's the baby. We don't know
what he's going to be like. Those three guys are what I live for. Their father is very successful. We are not
in a harmonious relationship right now. I've corrected him on a couple of things.
You see his father is very
opinionated. And right now he's going through what I went through - young buckitis. I'm making good money, I'm a
big shot, and I'm successful, blah blah blah. I think when he reaches maturity, which might be hopefully soon,
or in his 40s or 50s, he's going to realize that I pissed away six or seven or eight years of life with my father
that I could have had. But I don't need him any more. That's my case. I could be dead wrong. Right now I don't like
him very much, but I love him to death.I think out of my two kids, my son is like his mother. He doesn't talk. My
daughter is like me. We're a couple of gabby nuts. We never shut up.
Barbara and I
e-mail each other from time to time. I
don't hate her. I didn't want the divorce but I realize that during my years of alcoholism I put that woman through
hell. And I realize in the long run that she was just as sick as I was for staying with me and putting up with that
crap.
I was married to Barbara for 30 years and we had two lovely children.
That's who I spent the better part of my life with. Now I'm with another wonderful woman (Rosie) I met her
after Barbara and I decided to divorce -- after Barbara decided to divorce. I'm a big believer in family.
Family to me is everything
I went through life with a lot of hate and anger and fear and
frustration . And now that I'm in recovery, my life is totally different. My grandparents didn't know any
better. They did the best they could. My parents didn't know any better. They did the best they could. When
my kids were growing up. I didn't know any better and their mother didn't know any better. We did the best
that we could. That's just the way it is.
I met Rose after Barb and I decided to divorce. I was sitting at home
being very depressed. I didn't want the divorce. My AA sponsor at the time said you cannot be sitting in the
house. You gotta get out. You go to work and you come home. You gotta get out.
He said, Monday night I want to meet you at this bowling alley, be
there. I went and joined a bowling league. Rosie was on one team and I was on another team. We saw each other
a couple of time a year.
I knew that there was no redemption in my marriage. It was not
coming back. I still carry a heavy heart on that today. A lot of it is my fault because of my antics when I
was drinking. I was not a nice guy at the end of my drinking.
I dated Rosie a few times. One thing led to another. She was
divorced, living in a five-room apartment. I was living (in a nearby town) in an empty house with my
son and one other guy who I sponsored in AA. Finally Rosie and I got together and that was it. We've been
together for 10 years.
I was medically retired from the VA on Sept. 1, 1999. On Sept. 11 I
was recuperating from double bypass cardiac surgery. I remember, and I was still heavily sedated. I
never saw the result of the first plane (crashing into the World Trade Center) and I asked Rose what was
that. She said, we're under attack. And of course I'm sedated.
Rosie is the one who lives with me every day. She's the one that takes
care of me. She's the one that has to put up with the bullshit of my early sobriety. I was only sober 3-1/2
years when Barbara left. And I want to make sure she's taken care off for the rest of her life. My goal is to
make sure that she's OK and my daughter is OK. My son doesn't need my money. He told me out of his mouth to
my ear. Leave my half to my sister because I really don't need it. Dad, I'm very
successful.
I think that there's a life hereafter. The body is just a vessel. The
body dies. The spirit lives. I happen to believe in heaven and hell. I've already been to hell, now I'm
trying to redeem myself. A lot of the crap that I pulled when I was drinking....Alcoholism is a sickness.
It's not a failure of moral character. It's not a weakness. It's an illness. Alcoholics are allergic to
alcohol.